5 Things You Should Say To Any Mom. Lets Stop The Mommy Wars!

The past few days all I’ve read about on various parenting/family blogs are lists about “things you should never say” to a stay-at-home mom or to a working mom. I’m so sick and tired of these ridiculous mommy wars.

All mothers are working mothers, regardless if they stay at home or have a job outside the home. No one type of mother is better than another.  Moms should just focus on being the best mother they can be for their own child/children and not maliciously or callously judge others.

Instead of focusing on what not to say to each other, how about we focus on the things we should say to each other as moms, being supportive. Here’s what I say to other moms:

  • You’re doing a really good job, you’re a good mother!
  • Here’s my number. Please call me if you ever need some help.
  • You must be so proud of your children/family.
  • You always do what is best for your children/family.
  • You look fabulous!

Now it’s your turn to share. What positive thing would you say another mom?

Copyright © 2013 The Harried Mom. All Rights Reserved.


    • TheHarriedMom says

      Thanks so much Ann! I love your addition – but how about we change it to “call me if you want to go have some whine/wine!”

  1. says

    Awesome post! Mommy Wars is one of the reason my kids never got playdates when they were babies. I was so sick of other moms always trying to compete. Personally, I don’t care if your kid walked at 6 months old or 18 months. I’m happy for every moment in my child’s life whether it is a week before your kid did it or a week after your kid did it.
    Kristi recently posted..5 Ways to Make Mornings Run SmootherMy Profile

    • TheHarriedMom says

      Amen sister! My son was late in doing everything – walking, talking – but now he’s ahead….so what does it matter, right?

  2. says

    Ooh I like this! I think focusing on the positive in general is really helpful. I just had a nice conversation with a lady at a smoothie store this morning, and while she was very friendly, the topic kept focusing on how busy I’ll be with more than one kid now (I’m very pregnant and showing), and how I’ll have my hands full.

    I think all that is correct, and there’s a time and place for it, but I’d also love to hear the other side, how awesome it’ll be for my older child to have siblings, or that he’ll be a good helper, etc.
    Nina recently posted..Mommy track: On women, careers and “giving it up” for motherhoodMy Profile

    • TheHarriedMom says

      Thank you Nina and first off, congrats! As a mom of two myself, you’ll have twice the fun and twice the love. I totally agree. I’m much more aware now when I speak with other moms, trying to sneak in something encouraging or supportive, I know I appreciate it when I hear it!

  3. says

    I love this. There have been so many times where I wished that anyone would have turned to me and said those things.

    There have been a few times when I was out somewhere and another child was crying or yelling and just plain having a rough moment. Instead of judging, I caught the mother’s eyes, smiled, and told her that I’ve been there.
    Kimberly recently posted..Just A DreamMy Profile

    • TheHarriedMom says

      Thanks, and yes, we’ve all been there. My kidlets might be good on an outing today, but could be a terror tomorrow….knowing that others understand instead of judging makes things easier!

    • TheHarriedMom says

      It’s so sad that we have to judge and think one is always better than another. We just need to be positive and be supportive towards one another.

    • TheHarriedMom says

      Excellent point Jackie – because we’ve all been there! Letting each other know we’re not alone is a great support!

  4. says

    Any time I have a good encounter with children, I try to find the mother and tell her that she has nice children. Invariably they start saying, “Oh, well, they’re not always this good.” But they’re always, always glad to hear it. Not once has one of them said, “You’re wrong.”

    I know they’re not always that good. Neither is mine. We’re all human. But so often we worry about whether our kids are bothering others–I think more parents need to hear when their kids are making a good impression.
    Tragic Sandwich recently posted..Pick Your ParkMy Profile

    • TheHarriedMom says

      I have to agree with you. I love hearing it when someone tells me how good and polite my children are. I know I walk a little taller after I hear that. We just need to encourage and support each other…not nitpick on the things we shouldn’t say or ask each other.


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