When Are the Stories of My Children No Longer Mine to Tell?

Creating and maintaining The Harried Mom takes a lot of work. I started this blog a few years ago as a creative outlet for myself, to share my stories about everyday parenting – the good, the bad and even those forehead slap moments that we all experience with our families. Over time the site has evolved to also include family meal ideas/recipes, DIY kid crafts, reviews and fun activity/outing suggestions to do with kids. In the next week or so, I’ll even be debuting a new look to the blog!!

THM_WhenAreStoriesNoLongerMine_1The Harried Mom truly is a labor of love.  See, my #1 job is being a mom & wife ILR to two kidlets and a husband I just adore. After that, I’m a mom who works away of the home (because every mom is a working mom, my job just happens to take me out of the home) in a fab career.  This blog is what I do “after-hours,” at home once the kidlets have gone off to dreamland, The Hubs fed and laundry is done (well, sometimes!). It does take a lot of time, effort and lots of understanding from my family & friends, but I really enjoy doing it so it’s worth it.

The question I get asked the most about blogging is, “how do you decide or come up with what you write about?”

For me the content and ideas are pretty simple to come up with. I write about things that interests me as a mom, wife, friend and career gal and those things that interest my family. I used to write entries as they came to me – not on any sort of schedule, but over the past year I’ve gotten myself on an editorial calendar to make my publishing schedule more consistent.

However, the actual writing isn’t always that easy. I constantly struggle in my head about what I can and how much I should share about the details of my family’s life and what should stay private.

What I hear and read from other digital media mavens (AKA Mom/Family bloggers) is that this will become a bigger issue as my kidlets get older. Right now they’re still young – they’re six and four. I’m sharing stories about their childhood, their firsts, their accomplishments, their likes, dislikes and discoveries. I’m not revealing any of their innermost thoughts or sharing any confidences they share with me (there’s not too many secrets at this age!).

More and more though I’ve had to really think before I hit the publish button here. Will the story or photo I’m posting come back to haunt or embarrass my kids someday? Will they resent mom for revealing or sharing something they feel is too personal? There have been times that I’ve spent hours or days writing a post and wind up hitting delete because it is just too intimate a detail about my family’s joys, successes, struggles or problems.

At what point are the stories about my kidlets no longer mine to share? I’m telling the stories from my experience, but since it’s them I’m writing about, shouldn’t they get a say in whether they want mom putting it out there or not?

Right now they’re too small to understand. Whenever they see The Harried Mom up on the computer screen, they get excited and ask to see a picture of themselves in a post.   I mostly rely on The Hubs as my sounding board. I ask his opinions about post ideas and if he feels it violates the family’s privacy. He’s honest and candid giving me either a “yea,” “nay” or suggestions on how to moderate it.

For now, I’m totally comfortable sharing the life and times of The Harried Mom – written from the perspective of one mom who is just trying to balance it all – family, work and life! I’m glad you are here and along for the ride!

Now it’s your turn to share. Have you ever had to delete a post before, what was the topic?
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When Are the Stories of My Children No Longer Mine to Tell? by The Harried Mom, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Comments

  1. says

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  2. says

    My daughter is now 17. If I want to include her in a story, I generally just ask her first. She never says no, but I think kids like to know that you care what they think. So, when your kids are older, you could always just ask. :)

  3. says

    Great points. My son is only 3, so I’m not worried about betraying his secrets yet, but that day will come. I’m mostly concerned about sharing more than my husband’s comfortable with. All of our friends and family read my blog, and his family is more private than mine. So even if I don’t write anything about him, it still feels odd to him that his friends should know so much personal information about me.
    Melissa @ A Wide Line recently posted..Man UpMy Profile

    • TheHarriedMom says

      That was something The Hubs and I discussed a lot when I was building this blog. We had to set some parameters but we’re still navigating that territory today.

    • TheHarriedMom says

      I know what you mean. I’ve written them and then can’t bring myself to his publish because they’re too revealing…

  4. says

    Recently, my oldest daughter told me that I should write about her MORE in my blog. Because she feels people should know who she is. I think she likes reading things from my perspective – although I don’t do it very often because I am fearful of what I put on the internet. She doesn’t seem to have the same fear – must be because of her “i’m 15 and nothing can hurt me” sense. :)
    Momma O recently posted..Sneak Peek: Birthday DecorationsMy Profile

    • TheHarriedMom says

      Wow, that’s cool that she wants you to write MORE about her! I’m sure it’s interesting to them what our thoughts of them and situations are.

  5. says

    I’m in the same boat. My kids are 6 and 4 so I’m started to censor myself more with my 6 year old. I worry about what may happen if her friends ever read it. She’s so cute telling people that mommy works at home on her blog. I hope it never causes her pain.
    Allison B recently posted..Another Diagnosis?My Profile

    • TheHarriedMom says

      As long as we are sensitive to how they may feel and not publish anything embarrassing (say pictures of them in the tub), I’m hoping we’ll be okay!

  6. says

    My kids are 8 and 18 mo old twins and I have often thought the same thing about sharing stories about my oldest. For me, I always figured that my blog would be a conversation I have with her about what I can and cannot share. But, at this point, she makes sure to remind me to add things about her to my blog constantly. Hopefully the interest in my blog will remain and she gets old. I think the fact that you’re aware that, at some point, they are no longer your stories means you’ll do just fine when the transition comes.
    Katy Rawson recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Gateway ArchMy Profile

  7. says

    I haven’t deleted any yet and I don’t think I really will need to, but I have blogged less and less about my oldest as I’ve gone along. He’s nine now. Only two more years until he’s in middle school. His stories are becoming more his and not mine. I still write about him, but it’s in a different way.

    • TheHarriedMom says

      I totally understand what you mean. Some stories of my kids just aren’t for me to tell to anyone outside our family – whether they are good or bad.

  8. says

    I’ve had to delete posts that really had has been no content in the early years. But it has been good in a way as it reminds me of the beginning :)

  9. says

    I was told even if you delete your blog or the posts it never really is deleted. It is a scary thing, thats why you really need to think about it when you post something or pictures about your kids. I tend to write and share a lot.

  10. says

    I love that you are really thinking about this. I do fairly often come across blog posts where I’m like, “is your kid really going to want that on the internet when they’re old enough to understand that anyone can read that/know that/see that?”.
    Chelsea recently posted..wantable reviewMy Profile

  11. says

    Although my blog is a n interior design and lifestyle blog, I sometimes share personal stories. Just today I posted about my son’s ADHD Tendencies. I thought long and hard about it, but I am really excited about the natural treatment that I was very excited to share, just incase it helps someone else in their struggle
    Veronica recently posted..Wellness Wednesday: doTERRA And ADHDMy Profile

    • brett says

      same here. and i won’t use their real names. people who know us, if they use the kids’ names? i delete or hide a comment or ask them to. my kids had “blog names” for a while but i just refer to them as my 8 year old, etc.

      i try to be mindful of the internet and how big it is. and what i’d want or not want shared.

  12. says

    That’s a good question. I guess when they can read and decide for themselves if they want to be written about or have their photos posted.

  13. says

    What a great discussion to have. I started blogging when my son was a little older, but we’ve hit a roadblock when it comes to me including him in what I do. Dressing my kid up in a toilet paper wedding dress was fun last year, but this year it is a source of embarrassment. (You know, now that his friends know what I do too). I think honestly and openly discussing it w/ kids once they’re old enough to understand is a good policy. Then, we can take it from there ;)
    Dawn Lopez recently posted..Girls’ Night In: Lightened Up Raspberry Acai Cream Soda with Trop50 #GirlsNightInMy Profile

  14. says

    Honesty is the best policy. My kids are 13 and 10 and I always ask if I’m unsure, but they also realize pics are a give in. My job is social media and sharing our life. They get that.
    Kas

  15. says

    My daughter is 5 and a lot of my blog focuses around her. I completely relate to what you are saying and it has caused me to branch out and begin to write about other things. While I do enjoy writing about her adventures and milestones I think one day she may want me to stop. For now I am going to get as much kid friendly material on there as I can!

  16. says

    I’ve never had to delete a post BUT I have not written some I know will be awesome posts because of my oldest daughter who is 25 yrs old… I have so much to write but I can’t.

  17. says

    Oh man, now you have my brain working in overtime about this. I am in the EXACT same boat as you. I started for the same reasons and my blog has also evolved to include many things along the same lines as yours. But my kids are going to be 7 & 10 this summer and you’re right – at some point I am going to run out of “kid” stuff to write about. I guess I will just have to wait and see……
    Robin (Masshole Mommy) recently posted..Foxhole to Cubicle (by Chris)My Profile

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